wisdom
- Ersteller Joneda
- Erstellt am
Jamie Avery
Mitglied
suggestions....
I like your work a lot... but I would tighten it a little...
i suggest the following:
Hear the wisdom [red]in [/red]your head,
[red]and [/red]speak loudly deep inside!
[red]Do not listen to [/red]the lies
that others [red]whisper[/red]
to your heart[red], changing [/red]the rules
for this [red]dark [/red]hell [red]deep [/red]inside,
[red]murmuring[/red] by candle light,
"you [red]are[/red] cruel."
hope you like some of the suggestions..
my best
Jamie
I like your work a lot... but I would tighten it a little...
i suggest the following:
Hear the wisdom [red]in [/red]your head,
[red]and [/red]speak loudly deep inside!
[red]Do not listen to [/red]the lies
that others [red]whisper[/red]
to your heart[red], changing [/red]the rules
for this [red]dark [/red]hell [red]deep [/red]inside,
[red]murmuring[/red] by candle light,
"you [red]are[/red] cruel."
hope you like some of the suggestions..
my best
Jamie
, not bad.