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Leselupe.de > Fremdsprachiges und MundART (L)
The Duke of Bel Air and his maidenhead fair
Eingestellt am 26. 01. 2003 23:30


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Alpha O'Droma
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The Duke of Bel Air and his maidenhead fair

Once there lived, I don’t know when or where
On a sunny hill the Duke of Bel Air
His life was recreation
‘Cause he had a plantation
A hammock, cold beer and his maidenhead fair

One particular day the Duke of Bel Air
Went out to get leggin‘ and ratfaced somewhere
Meanwhile he got pissed
His maidenhead missed
The Dukes horny cock and her legs in the air

After his booze the Duke of Bel Air
Desired his home and the maidenhead fair
Rather dead than alive an'
Rednosed he was drivin‘
His Cabriolet with flatt‘rin‘ long hair

Nobody recalled how he got even there
In his head was buzzin‘ a Glenn Miller snair
But he lived all his life gay
Staggered uphill his driveway
With legs shakin‘ kinky – just like Fred Astaire

When he entered his house, the Duke of Bel Air,
His key fit the keyhole, he sent up a Prayer
His heel slammed the door
He threw up on the floor
Don’t judge by his lifestyle! He‘s cool, you beware!

While he’s draggin‘ his carcass up the steep stair
The Duke of Bel Air became ad hoc aware
of a groaning loud sound
He felt betting 10 Pound,
That it sounded just like his maidenhead fair

Could it be, that she had an affair?
Bonkin‘ around when he wasn’t there
The groan came form the bath
He slingered his path
Kicked open the door and began straight to stare

What he saw in that bath, was his maidenhead fair
Cunning look on her face, that said: Don’t you dare!
The Duke pretty jealous: You are askin‘ a lot!
What the fuck has he, that I ain‘t got?
I thought, I was privileged, strokin‘ your pubic hair!

Thus amused, laughed loud the maidenhead fair:
How could I know, where in hell you were?
She smiled very corny
And said: I was horny
That’s why I stuck the showerhead there

This immediatly calmed the Duke of Bel Air
His dick bulged quick his trousers of pair
He jumped in the tub
And began to rub
And eat her pussy like a piece of Éclair

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Beatrix
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*giggle*

I liked it a lot, here some small remarks: In a title you should capitalize all nouns and adjectives: i.e.

quote:
The Duke of Bel Air and his Maidenhead Fair

quote:
flatt'rin'
do you really mean flattering? as in "schmeichelhaft"?

quote:
The groan came from the bath

Other than that, a very amusing piece. I would suggest to check your adverbs once more.

Hope you are ok with these suggestions.

Love

Bea




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Alpha O'Droma
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Yo, thanks, ich geh da nochmal drüber.

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Alexander Kongegaard
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Well,
one thanks for a delightful little tale!

It was a bit hard to read at some points due to missing syllables, e.g. in the second line here...

"Meanwhile he got pissed
His maidenhead missed"

...but since I do not intend to start even the slightest of wars on metrical matters, I will not say any more to that and just note that it is a little hard these days to get me to enjoy an Internet-published poem for obvious reasons.
So, my compliment for achieving just that!

Grüssle
Alex

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Alisha
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Hi,

@alex
nice to meet you here again. I´m sending you a mail right now via LL, cause I lost your mail address and I´d like to know how you´re doing in Norge.

Best Alisha

@ Alpha, sorry, the poem is too crude for my taste.

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Alpha O'Droma
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"Meanwhile he got pissed
His maidenhead missed
The Dukes horny cock and her legs in the air"

That's called "enjambement" or "Zeilensprung" in German and it's perfectly legal. You rime "across the line" and the sentence goes on in the next line.

No one likes a smart ass :lol:

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