humorous dialogue

Sheila: Mom, Dad! Could you please gather in the living room, I’ve got an important issue to discuss with you! And hurry, please!

Ms Porter: Yes, dear, I’m coming!

Mr Porter: Just a moment, I’ll be there in a minute, Sheila!

Sheila: It’s okay, I’m waiting downstairs.

Ms Porter: So, what’s up? Come on, I’m curious!

Sheila: Not until dad is here.

Mr Porter (arriving): I’m here, spill the beans!

Sheila: Well, I want you to listen carefully because I’m serious about this and I want to be very clear. I neither ask for your permission, nor do I need your consent. I’m determined to do this.

Ms Porter (getting impatient): To do what, my dear?

Mr Porter (reassuring her): Hush, darling, she’ll get there eventually.

Sheila: Frankly, I don’t want to beat about the bush anyway, so I’m going to tell you now. Just, sit down, put yourself into a comfortable position…

Ms Porter (looking concerned): I’m getting anxious there, honey!

Sheila: You don’t have to worry, mom. Sitting down is only precaution. Preventing you from fainting, to be more concrete.

Ms Porter (turning pale)

I’m kidding, mom.

Mr Porter: So, what’s the news, Sheila?

Sheila: Right. I’ve thought very long about it and I’ve decided to undergo a certain operation. I want a liposuction. Around my pelvis, my thighs and my belly of course.

Mr Porter: What?!

Sheila: Your ears are fine, dad! (referring to her mom) Apparently, you’re shocked- you’re looking wan mum, do you prefer to lie down?

Ms Porter (Nodding slightly, she flops onto the couch.)

Sheila: Well, but I’ve got my points, so listen: I’m very unhappy with my waist. The fat tissue around my waist. I’m not going to do sports to lose weight, so let’s drop this possibility.

Mr Porter: So what? You don’t want to do sports, so you’re simply going to let your fat deposits be removed by a surgeon?

Sheila: To be honest, yeah.

Mr Porter: Are you crazy? You’re still growing, you’re not even an adult yet!

Sheila: Only one year, dad.

Mr Porter: Did you think about the risks? There are risks, you know. Nerve damage- rare but dangerous,…

Sheila: I’m informed, dad. I even got an exclusive bargain. A really cheap one. Doctor Handy- by the way, he is indeed handsome-

Mr Porter: Do you believe this is funny?

Sheila: Sorry, dad.

Ms Porter (slowly sitting up, murmuring quietly): I understand now…

Sheila and her dad (simultaneously): Huh?

Ms Porter: I’m not a moron, Sheila. I know you need our permission. You need your parents’ signature, don’t you? You can’t do this without our help.

Sheila: Very smart, mom. Though, in this case, if you refuse, Aunt Helen promised to help me out. You see, very sophisticated. Either way, I’ll get what I want.


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i wrote that as an exercise for an english exam concerning the topic plastic surgery...
 



 
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