Don't deserve?

Beyond the stones of Avalon
and deep within the Universe
you can feel all my guilt

What have I done wrong?
I made it even worse
everything grown alive, I killed

I do deserve it
I do deserve it
until it frees me
I emerged it
I perverted it
There's nothing between
my hope and another disaster

The cross I carry a lifelong
is made by my own hands
starred with stealth slivers

Where has my faith gone?
Buried by false glance
of my defence mechanisms

Do I deserve it?
Do I deverve it?
While I'm so broken
Do I emerged it?
Have I perverted it?
The question in my mind
where's the divine answer?

How can I deserve it?
Why should it leave me?
Will it ever free me?